Thursday, April 28, 2016

#27 Allison Hayes

Well, you can’t have a blog about B movie queens without including the original 50 Foot Woman now, can you? Allison Hayes’ B movie career started right off the bat, with Francis Joins the WACs (Francis is a mule). Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, though, was a true high water mark – for both Allison and for B’s in general.

Few know it, but Allison was very smart and funny, in addition to exuding sultry sexuality from every pore. As for that second quality, she’s actually the one with the famous quote, “Who do I have to f**k to get off this picture?”

Embarrassing Real Name:  Mary Jane Hayes

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Charleston, WV

Cheesy Pageant Titles
  • Miss District of Columbia
  • Official Hostess, Washington Cherry Blossom Festival
  • Miss Dixie
  • Queen of the Atlantic
  • Forget-Me-Not Girl (Disabled American Veterans)
  • Miss 7-11 (not the C-store, by the way)

Embarrassing Movies
  • The High-Powered Rifle
  • The Steel Jungle
  • The Purple Mask
  • The Hypnotic Eye
  • The Crawling Hand *
  • The Unearthly *
  • The Undead *
  • The Disembodied
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines
  • A thousand years of naked terror!
  • An army of mutants on a mission from hell!
  • BEWARE HIS HYPNOTIC POWER that turns human flesh into helpless robots!
  • See a female colossus ...  her mountainous torso, skyscraper limbs, giant desires!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Angel Case
  • Pearl Chute
  • Tonda Metz
  • Ildico

Whiffs of Scandal
  • Had an early marriage annulled 
  • Posed semi-nude for Gent
  • Modeled for Frederick’s of Hollywood

Untimely Demise:  At age 46, of lead poisoning / leukemia /kidney failure from a dietary supplement she was taking

Interesting Tidbits
  • A statuesque 5’8”
  • Accomplished classic pianist
  • Was a living test screen for color TV broadcasts
  • Discovered at a reception for Supreme Court Justice Earl Warren
  • Was an Elvis babe, in Tickle Me
  • Injured on the set twice, breaking some ribs on Sign of the Pagan and an arm on Gunslinger
  • Famous for her sneer

Where can I learn more?

Nice hair!

<#28          #26>

Friday, April 22, 2016

#28 Lola Albright

A stylish and sultry blonde, Lola Albright also had a distinctive, husky voice. She put the latter to good use in the TV show Peter Gunn, where she had an ongoing part as a singer and love interest (and was nominated for an Emmy). She also cut a few albums on her own as well. Overall, Lola was known for roles in westerns, lots of TV, and for being an Elvis girl. She may be one of the more unappreciated babes out there. With a couple of breaks, she could’ve been huge.

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Akron, OH

Embarrassing Movies
  • The Racket Squad
  • The Helicopter Spies
  • The Killer That Stalked New York
  • To Sleep, Perchance to Scream
  • Monolith Monsters *
  • Nurse Killer
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines
  • Cracking Like a Whip From Here to Excitement!
  • Adventure Lashes Across The Face Of The West!
  • From Outer Space They Came – Meteor Borne, Meteor Strange!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Duff Daniels
  • Gloria Buckles
  • Azalea
  • Waco

Number of Marriages:  3

Interesting Tidbits
  • Parents were gospel music singers
  • Worked as a model, receptionist, stenographer, and switchboard operator while learning her craft
  • Frequent model for pinup artist Gil Elvgren
  • Also used the stage name Lola Deem
  • Often compared to tough gal Barbara Stanwyck
  • Won the Silver Bear Award, at the Berlin International Film Festival (for the absolutely atrocious Lord Love a Duck)
  • Had a 30-year hiatus between appearances (1983-2013)

Where can I learn more?

Lola has me

<#29          #27>

Friday, April 15, 2016

#29 Linda Harrison *

* - author has her autograph

Linda Harrison will probably always be remembered as the cute, mute love interest in the Planet of the Ape series. She did, however, have at least 12 other movie and TV credits – and some of those with actual speaking parts!

I’m sorry – that was very catty. Linda is an incredibly beautiful woman, is also in one of my favorite movies of all time, and happens to be a very nice person. Check her out on her website and on the convention circuit.

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Berlin (MD)

Cheesy Pageant Titles
  • Fire House Queen
  • Miss Berlin (MD)
  • Miss Worcester County
  • Miss Ocean City
  • Miss Del-Mar-Va

Embarrassing Movies
  • Airport 1975
  • Way … Way Out
  • Death Squad
  • The Fat Spy *
  • Midnight Massacre
*- author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines
  • Something hit us... The crew is dead... Help us, please, please help us!
  • You'll be sorry you were ever born human
  • Hunted . . . haunted . . . wanted . . . like beasts of prey!
  • It's a killer ... a Diller ... a blast of laffs!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Cheerleader
  • Madam
  • Miss Stardust
  • Woman in Cart
  • Quinia Brutus

Interesting Tidbits
  • Her family owned what was at one time the largest fruit tree nursery business in the U.S.
  • Won first prize in the Delmarva Chicken Festival Talent Contest, at age 11
  • Was fourth runner-up in the Miss America contest in 1965
  • Was the first TV Wonder Woman (in a 1967 pilot)
  • Appeared under the name Augusta Summerland, in Airport 75
  • Along with Charlton Heston, was the only actor to appear in the original (1968) and remake (2001) of Planet of the Apes
  • Is currently filming again after a hiatus of 15 years

Where can I learn more?

<#30          #28>

Saturday, April 9, 2016

#30 Carroll Baker

A typical ‘50s platinum blonde, Carrol Baker combined a classic B movie persona with some serious acting chops. In fact, she had an Academy Award nomination and won a Golden Globe (though both for the dreadful Southern Gothic Baby Doll). On the other hand, Baker also starred in some serious B’s, especially after she moved to Italy late in her career. She was known for being something of an exhibitionist and also as notoriously hard to work with and litigious.

Embarrassing Real Name:  Karolina Piekarski

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Johnstown, PA

Cheesy Pageant Titles
  • Miss Florida Fruits and Vegetables
  • Worst Actress of the Year, Harvard Lampoon
  • Lifetime Achievement Award, Hoboken International Film Festival

Embarrassing Movies
  • Skeletons
  • Bloodbath
  • Deathwork (AKA Captain Apache)
  • Orgasm (AKA PARANOIA)
  • Hitler’s SS: Portrait of Evil
  • Kindergarten Cop

Embarrassing Taglines
  • Thelma and Louise meet Rocky!
  • One Woman Alone with Five Lusty Men
  • PARANOIA sucks you into a whirlpool of erotic love!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Viva
  • Treasure
  • Mama Freud
  • Polly Pott
  • Baba Yaga, Devil Witch

Number of Marriages:  3

Shortest Marriage:  1 year

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends:  Prince Carlo Borromeo

Whiffs of Scandal
  • Rape victim
  • At 21, married a man 33 years her senior
  • Controversial roles as nymphos, rape victims, etc.
  • Well-known for extremely revealing dress
  • Appeared semi-nude in Playboy (and then later sued them)
  • Nervous breakdowns
  • Skin flicks

Interesting Tidbits
  • Debuted as a tap dancer at the local Lions Club
  • Assistant to the Great Volta, a magician
  • Weather girl for Channel 9 in NYC
  • Convert to Judaism
  • Was in Andy Warhol’s Bad
  • Author of 3 books

Where can I learn more?

Nice, uh, whatever it is

<#31          #29>

Friday, April 1, 2016

#31 Joi Lansing

The stereotypical '50s blonde bombshell, Joi Lansing extended her shtick into the '60s and even the '70s. Not a bad actress, she ended her career just over 100 credits (albeit with many of those in TV). Joi was also a decent singer, and had a popular nightclub act. You have to check out her "Scopitones" – '60s version of music videos – on YouTube.

Embarrassing Real Name
  • Joy Brown
  • Joyce Wassmansdorff  (her stepfather’s name)

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Salt Lake City

Cheesy Pageant Titles
  • Miss Hollywood
  • Miss Armed Forces Day of the World
  • Queen of Candy

Embarrassing Movies
  • So, You’re Taking in a Roomer
  • Hot Cars *
  • Bigfoot *
  • Terror at Midnight
  • Queen of Outer Space *
  • Hillbillies in a Haunted Mansion *
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines
  • Violence! Guilt! Drama! 
  • The Screen's Spectacular Inferno of the Battle for Civilization!
  • A Stop-at-Nothing Blonde ... A Buck-Hungry Guy ... A Red-Hot Racket ... Slam the Screen Head-On!
  • America's abominable snowman ... breeds with anything!
  • SEE! War of the planets! Astounding she-beasts of Venus!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Blonde in Bar
  • Blonde Bathing Beauty
  • Blonde Babysitter
  • Blonde Roomer
  • Blonde Getting Ticket
  • The Blonde

Number of Marriages:  4

Shortest Marriage:  4 months

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends
  • Lance Fuller (Ed Wood favorite)
  • George Raft
  • George Jessel
  • Frank Sinatra
  • Howard Hughes
  • Mickey Rooney

Whiffs of Scandal:  
  • First marriage at age 17
  • Second marriage was to someone who was not yet divorced
  • Possible lesbian affair

Untimely Demise:  43, of breast cancer

Interesting Tidbits
  • Signed at MGM at age 14
  • Devout Mormon
  • Referred to as the "Marilyn Monroe of television"
  • Never posed nude
  • Early devotee of yoga

Where can I learn more?

Nice hat

<#32          #30>