Friday, September 23, 2016

#6 Madeline Smith

Madeline Smith’s Wikipedia article cuts straight to the chase. In the third paragraph, it simply states, “She was noted for her ample breasts.” She was also known for her Hammer credits, a stint as a Bond girl (where Roger Moore undid her zipper with his magnetic watch), and plenty of Brit TV. That last bit was mostly in comedic roles, primarily of the wink-wink-nudge-nudge variety. 

In the many interviews I came across on the Internets, she comes across as incredibly sweet. And she still looks great today.

Embarrassing Movies
  • The Devil’s Widow
  • The Vampire Lovers *
  • Anyone for Sex?
  • Theatre of Blood
  • Taste the Blood of Dracula
  • Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines
  • She drained them of their manhood - and then of their LIVES!
  • His brain came from a genius. His body came from a killer. His soul came from hell!
  • An erotic nightmare of tormented lusts that throb in headless, undead bodies!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Miss UK
  • Miss Clutterbuck
  • Miss Nupkins
  • Miss Bedwell
  • Erotica

Interesting Tidbits
  • Was discovered in her father’s antique shop
  • Returned to acting in 2011 after an 11-year absence
  • Her 2000 appearance, in turn, came after a 14-year break
  • Played the female lead in The Mousetrap (the longest running play of all time) for a couple of years 

Where can I learn more?

<#7                    #5>

Friday, September 16, 2016

#7 Mara Corday

Ava Gardner look-alike Mara Corday is pretty much forgotten today. The brunette sexpot was quite active during the ‘50s though – as pin-up; Playboy playmate; and star of sci-fi and exploitation flicks, as well as two-bit TV shows (The Man from Blackhawk, anyone?). She pretty much gave up acting at age 30 to raise her family.

Embarrassing Real Name:  Marilyn Watts (Mara’s from Marilyn, Corday came from a perfume ad she saw in a magazine)

Cheesy Pageant Titles
  • Go Girl
  • Ich Bon Girl
  • Honorary Fire Chief, Universal City, CA

Embarrassing Movies
  • Undersea Girl
  • Girls on the Loose
  • Problem Girls
  • Tarzan and the She-Devil
  • The Giant Claw *
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines
  • The daring and startling story of wild young love!
  • Nothing can tame them, scandal can't shame them!
  • The hideous inhuman being that defied every law of nature
  • More terrifying than any horror known to man comes a creeping, crawling monster whose towering fury no one can escape!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Nono
  • Paca
  • Stick Lady
  • Moccasin Mary

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends
  • Lex Barker (former Tarzan)
  • Audie Murphy 
  • John Wayne

Quite possibly, my favorite cheesecake pic of all time

Whiffs of Scandal
  • Worked as an underage showgirl
  • Appeared in mags such as Cover Girl Models, Modern Man, He, and The Male Point
  • Appeared in Playboy (though times were so innocent she managed to keep her clothes on and still be Playmate of the Month)

Interesting Tidbits
  • Fascinated by movies from an early age, was an autograph hound and an usherette
  • Was once the most photographed woman in the world, posing for over 10,000 pictures
  • Shared top billing once with a mule (Francis Joins the WACS)
  • Still does bit parts for friend Clint Eastwood

Where can I learn more?

And you call that cheesecake?

<#8                    #6>

Friday, September 9, 2016

#8 Mari Blanchard

The model for Lil’ Abner’s Stupefyin’ Jones, Mari Blanchard starred in many ‘50s oaters before turning her attention to TV.  The blonde turned brunette (what’s that all about?) was famous for playing bad girls. There’s a wonderful video of her in a classic catfight on YouTube.

Cheesy Pageant Titles
  • Miss Click, Hollywood Cameramen’s Guild
  • Aye Girl, Pacific Fleet
  • Miss Classy Chassis, United Auto Workers

Embarrassing Movies
  • Stagecoach to Fury
  • Jungle Heat
  • She Devil *
  • Don’t Knock the Twist
  • Abbott and Costello Go to Mars
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines
  • They’re out of this world on a misguided missile!
  • Hold on to your turbans!  Here comes Adventure’s boldest son!
  • Never such a tender love story!  Never such a savage showdown!  Never such restless natives!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Allura
  • Burma
  • Madame Gamar
  • Countess Van Hochenstein

Number of Marriages:  3

Shortest Marriage:  2 months

Unlikely Spouses and Boyfriends
  • Victor Mature
  • Lance Fuller (Ed Wood favorite)
  • Mel Torme
  • George Raft

Whiffs of Scandal:  Was in murdered gangster Johnny Stompanato’s little black book

Untimely Demise:  At age 47, from cancer

Interesting Tidbits
  • Her mom was a psychotherapist
  • Had polio as a child
  • Ran away and joined the circus at age 17
  • Had a degree in international law
  • Discovered in a bubble bath ad
  • Answered all her own fan mail

Where can I learn more?

Nice hat!

<#9                    #7>

Friday, September 2, 2016

#9 Barbara Steele

Hard to believe, but I haven’t always been a fan of La Steele. For one thing, she always seemed a little funny looking. Plus, I had only seen some of her weaker, just-phoning-it-in efforts.

A quick look at some of her better stuff though (Black Sunday, for example) quickly disabused me of those notions. She really is something else. Those eyes. That eroticism. Her very belle laide (i.e., unconventional) beauty. Her ability to portray both the innocent and the evil – along with an uncanny ability to make that evil appear extremely attractive. She truly is one of a kind.

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Birkenhead

Embarrassing Movies
  • The She Beast *
  • Nightmare Castle *
  • Orgasmo
  • Castle of Blood
  • Curse of the Crimson Altar
  • Terror Creatures from the Grave *
  • The Long Hair of Death
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines with the Word “Orgy” in Them
  • The living and the dead change places in an orgy of terror!
  • They rise from dank coffins in the dead of night, murdering their victims in an orgy of slaughter!
  • The Undead Demons of Hell Terrorize the World in an Orgy of Stark Horror!

Additional Embarrassing Taglines
  • What obscene prayer or human sacrifice can satisfy the Devil-God?
  • The candle of his lust burnt brightest in the shadow of the grave!
  • His secret was a coffin named DESIRE!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Cleo Hauff
  • Bozena
  • Idat
  • Grandma (Lost River, 2014)

Interesting Tidbits
  • Studied to be a painter
  • First acting gig was on Brighton Pier 
  • Was slated to be an Elvis girl, but walked off the set when they asked her to go blonde (with Barbara Eden taking her part)
  • Was in Fellini’s masterpiece 8 ½ 
  • Also worked in the spy (The Monocle), sword-and-sandal (Rampage of Evil), babes-behind-bars (Caged Heat), and sci-fi (The Space-Watch Murders) genres
  • Is quite dismissive of her horror career
  • Became a producer later in her career, winning an Emmy for War and Remembrance
  • Was an associate producer on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Where can I learn more?

Nice hat!

<#10                    #8>