Friday, December 25, 2015

#45 Yanti Somer

A stereotypical Nordic blonde (though she seemed to be always in a buzz cut), Yanti Somer emerged from nowhere to make some classic Italian sci fi. If you’re not familiar with that genre, it’s basically just rip-offs of Star Wars that flooded drive-in screens in the late ‘70s. Yanti also was in several spaghetti western comedies (if you can imagine such a thing). 

Sorry I couldn’t find more out there on her. She is beautiful, but also pretty darn obscure (heck, her Wikipedia entry’s in German). Her last movie was in 1982, and she seems to have completely disappeared since then.

Embarrassing Real Name:  Kirsti Somersalo (though I’m not sure Yanti Somer is much of an improvement)

Embarrassing Movies
  • War of the Planets *
  • Battle of the Stars * (not the TV show)
  • Star Odyssey *
  • War of the Robots *
  • Are You Engaged to a Greek Sailor or an Airline Pilot?
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines
  • He's A Fun-of-a-Gun!
  • He Makes The Fastest Guns In The West...Die Laughing!
  • Hostile Alien Cyborgs in a Battle for the Universe
  • Robot Terror from Space!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Mayer’s Henchwoman
  • Liverpool’s Sister
  • Second Flaherty Secretary
  • Meela
  • Fascista

Whiffs of Scandal:  Some nudes (that I, unfortunately, couldn’t find)

Interesting Tidbits
  • Nickname growing up was Titti
  • Started out as a model in Paris, then later in Milan
  • AKA Xanti Valio and Yanti Valio

Where can I learn more?
Bad hair day

<#46          #44>

Friday, December 18, 2015

#46 Mylene Demongeot

Mylene Demongeot started out as a standard-issue French sex kitten, but moved to more serious roles later in her career. She’s actually been working for over 60 years, and has accumulated over 100 credits. Don’t worry, though – those credits do indeed include plenty of sword and sandal epics, Three Musketeer romances (a uniquely French kind of B movie), some Fantomas flicks (ditto), and other embarrassments.

Real Name:  Marie-Helene Demongeot

Embarrassing Movies
  • The Giant of Marathon 
  • Vengeance of the Three Musketeers
  • Romulus and the Sabines
  • Beach Casanova
  • Big Man – The False Etruscan

Embarrassing Taglines
  • The strange and terrible combat of two men in a strange and terrible Mexican town
  • The moral bankruptcy of desperate youth brought stunningly, shockingly to the screen...
  • Startling! Shocking! Rips the Veil of Secrecy From Love's Most Shameful Sin!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Fanfan
  • Zizi
  • Zina von Raunacher
  • Wife in House 3

Interesting Tidbits
  • Was born cross-eyed
  • Her mother was Russian, her father was born in Italy, and the two met in Shanghai
  • Modeled for Pierre Cardin
  • Was nominated for two Cesars (the French equivalent of the Oscars)
  • Was made a Commander of the French Order of Arts & Letters

Where can I learn more?
Aww ...

<#47          #45>

Thursday, December 10, 2015

#47 Yvonne Monlaur

Prototypical French sex kitten Yvonne Monlaur sure got around. She made movies in France, Italy, Germany, and the U.K. (including a couple of Hammer flicks for that last one). She was only active for about twelve years, though, with her peak coming around 1960. She’s very active today, however, on the convention circuit, as well as having her own blog. By the way, it helps to parlez vous if you want to check out that last one.

Embarrassing Movies
  • Night of Lust
  • Circus of Horrors
  • Brides of Dracula *
  • Terror of the Tongs
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines
  • Sexy... Secretive... Seductive...
  • Terror that grips you by the throat ... and never lets go!
  • In the privacy of a girls' school he sought his prey - turning innocent beauty into a thing of unspeakable horror!
  • Spectacular Towering Terror! One man's lust...made men into beasts, stripped women of their souls!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Nanda Colombo
  • Nennella
  • Shalee
  • Gyptis
  • Elvira

Interesting Tidbits
  • Father was a Russian count
  • Mother was a ballet dancer
  • 89-56-89 (cm)
  • Was in a serious speedboat accident while filming
  • Lost out on the role of Domino in Thunderball to Claudine Auger

Where can I learn more?

<#48          #46>

Monday, December 7, 2015

#48 Belinda Lee

Not a bad actress, Belinda Lee also just so happened to be a “green-eyed blonde bombshell” (IMDb).  Subsequently, she had a hard time avoiding being typecast as a “buxom, peroxide blonde.” Frustrated with such roles, she escaped to Italy, a particularly ironic destination, as that country is famous as a B movie mecca. She died heartbreakingly young, at age 25.

Game, anyone?

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Budleigh Salterton, Devonshire (actually, rather a tony place)

Cheesy Pageant Titles:  Miss Deep Ocean of 1954, US Navy

Embarrassing Movies
  • Nights of Lucretia Borgia
  • Way of the Wicked
  • Blood Feud
  • Satan Tempts with Love

Embarrassing Taglines
  • She climbed a ladder of lovers into a lap of luxury!
  • Ablaze With Thrills, Excitement and Dangers Such as the Screen Has Never Seen!
  • A Picture Best Understood By Adults!

Embarrassing Characters
  • Henet
  • Lucretia Borgia 
  • Messalina 
  • Aphrodite
  • Rosemarie Nittbritt, Prostitute

Whiffs of Scandal
  • Affairs
  • Suicide attempt
  • Last boyfriend was a pedophile

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends
  • Prince Filippo Orsini
  • King Farouk of Egypt

Untimely Demise:  25, in an auto accident

Interesting Tidbits
  • Nickame was "Billie"
  • Attended the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts
  • Was seriously injured when her hair caught on fire while filming a candle-lit scene

Where can I learn more?

<#49          #47>

Friday, November 6, 2015

#49 Venetia Stevenson

IMDb digs into its thesaurus to describe Venetia Stevenson, pegging her as variously “sultry,” “glamorous,” “shapely,” “lush-lipped,” and “photogenic.” Never a strong or confident actress, though, Venetia retired from the business in her early 20s – basically to marry Everly Brother Don and raise his kids. Too bad. It would have been nice to see a little more of her.

Embarrassing Real Name:  Joanna Venetia Invicta Stevenson

Cheesy Pageant Titles:  Miss Los Angeles Press Club

Embarrassing Movies

  • Violent Road
  • Island of Lost Women
  • Horror Hotel (AKA The City of the Dead) *
  • The American Thanksgiving: Its History and Meaning
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

  • Kisses, crime and violence
  • A Secret Eden Turned into a Raging Hell!
  • Jet-hot action! Jet-hot suspense! Jet-hot thrills!
  • They trained 'em to be killers and then turned them loose in hell!

Shortest Marriage:  1 year

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends

Whiffs of Scandal:  Married at age 17

Interesting Tidbits

  • Daughter of a director and an actress
  • TV debut was as a corpse
  • Was an equestrienne and rode competitively at the National Horse Show
  • Was Axl Rose’s mother-in-law

Where can I learn more?

<#50          #48>

Friday, October 30, 2015

#50 Anitra Ford

Exotic, sultry beauty Anitra Ford will probably forever be known as one of Bob Barker’s girls on The Price Is Right. That said, she did appear in several B movies (including the classic babes-behind-bars The Big Bird Cage), as well as her share of TV shows. She’s a bit unusual in that she has her own blogs, Facebook page, and Twitter account. You can check ‘em out below. Oh, by the way, Anitra still looks great today. 

Embarrassing Real Name:  Anitra Weinstein

Embarrassing Movies

  • The Love Machine
  • Messiah of Evil (actually not a bad flick) *
  • Invasion of the Bee Girls *
  • Murder on Voodoo Island
  • Starsky and Hutch on Playboy Island
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

  • She's a very private detective!  Take a ride on the wild side with Stacey.  She's fast!
  • Meet Albert.  Albert likes good music, motor trips by moonlight, and ... eating human flesh.
  • Women so hot with desire they melt the chains that enslave them!

I don't think that's a blow dryer in her hand

Embarrassing Characters

  • Woman at Theatre
  • Silky
  • Ahnjayla
  • Kyote Passenger

Whiffs of Scandal:  A little nudity

Interesting Tidbits:  Quite a talented photographer, poet, and artist (check out her blogs)

Where can I learn more?

It's a new car... !!!

<#51          #49>

Friday, October 23, 2015

#51 Rosalba Neri

Rosalba Neri covered all the bases – sword and sandal, spy, spaghetti westerns, sexploitation, horror (including playing both Lady Dracula and Lady Frankenstein)... She finished just short of 100 credits. Sexy and sultry, Neri was often cast as the villainess. As with most Eurotrash sirens, the ravishing brunette was more than happy to get all nekkid. 

Embarrassing Movies
  • Slaughter Hotel
  • Lady Frankenstein *
  • Kindar the Invulnerable
  • Hercules Against the Sons of the Sun
  • Sexy Susan Knows How!
  • Watch Out Gringo! Sabata Will Return
  • Two Mafiosi Against Goldginger
  • And They Smelled the Strange, Exciting, Dangerous Scent of Dollars
  • The Penguins Watch Us
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

  • See wild women fight to the death!
  • The jet-set breaks loose in an orgy of violence and terror
  • Only the Monster She Made Could Satisfy Her Strange Desires!
  • When Italian Horror Cinema Becomes Morbid!

Embarrassing Characters

  • Yaka
  • Miss Pappalardo
  • Alicia Songbird
  • Rising Sun
  • Tania Frankenstein

Whiffs of Scandal:  no shortage of soft-core porn

Interesting Tidbits
  • Sometimes confused with Rosalina Neri
  • AKA Sara Bey and Sara Bay 
  • Got her first acting credit at age 15
  • Attended The Center for Experimental Cinematography 
  • Her daughter Francesca Neri is also an actress

Where can I learn more?

  <#52          #50>

Saturday, October 17, 2015

#52 Helga Line

The queen of Eurotrash, Helga Line was born in Germany, grew up in Portugal, and starred in Spanish and Italian productions. Known primarily for horror roles, she also did sword and sandals, spaghetti westerns, thrillers, and spy movies. She has over 130 screen credits. IMDb calls her a “gorgeously svelte and classy redhead stunner.” I agree!

Embarrassing Real Name:  Helga Stern

Embarrassing Movies

  • Labyrinth of Passion
  • Horror Rises from the Tomb
  • Goliath at the Conquest of Damascus
  • The Faceless Monster (AKA Nightmare Castle) *
  • The Vampires’ Night Orgy *
  • Santa Vs. Doctor Death
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

  • Hide and seek and kill in the jungles of Africa!
  • Model of sensuality! Object of desire! Target of lust!
  • WOMEN CAGED LIKE ANIMALS... living only for the pleasure of their keepers!
  • So weird! ... So shocking! Do YOU dare see it?

Embarrassing Characters
  • Queen Moluyah
  • Saloon Girl Mary
  • Mia de Onassis
  • Elvira
  • Zanufer

Whiffs of Scandal:  Lots of soft porn

Interesting Tidbits

  • She also worked as an acrobat for the circus and as a model
  • Worked with Pedro Almodovar in the 80s

Where can I learn more?

<#53          #51>

Saturday, October 10, 2015

#53 Marla English

I always considered Marla English the poor man’s Elizabeth Taylor … or perhaps Vivien Leigh with a little oomph. She looked amazingly like them both.

Unbelievably, she gave up her acting career at the ripe old age of 21. And she did it right before her “big break” – starring in an A movie opposite Spencer Tracy.

Nonetheless, she somehow managed to garner 17 credits in her four-year career, most of them in classic B’s, and typically as the “bad girl.” In the end, though, she really just wanted to get married (she and her husband had been married 56 years when Marla died in 2010), have kids (she ended up with five), and live a normal life.

Cheesy Pageant Titles
  • Fairest of the Fair, Del-Mar Fair
  • Miss Scorpion, U.S. Air Force's "Flying Tiger" Squadron
  • Miss Fiber Flower, National Florist Design Association

Embarrassing Movies

  • Runaway Daughters
  • Casanova’s Big Night
  • Hell’s Horizon
  • The She Creature *
  • Voodoo Woman
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

  • They called her "JAILBAIT"!
  • Hypnotized! Reincarnated as a monster from hell!
  • A woman by day... a monster by night!
  • So savage, so stark, so vicious, it'll make your skin crawl!
  • If ever a picture was crammed with guts, this is it.

Embarrassing Characters

  • Sami
  • Myia
  • Princess Zara
  • Wild Willow

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends
  • Dean Martin
  • Howard Hughes

Whiffs of Scandal:   

  • Playboy appearance
  • Appearances in mags such as Plush, Mr., and Scamp

Interesting Tidbits
  • Was a champion water skier as a teen
  • Began modeling at age 12
  • Had a bit part in Rear Window
  • Became a born-again Christian after attending a Bill Graham crusade
  • Lived on a remote ranch in northern Nevada for many years
  • After retiring from the movies, was notoriously private and reclusive

Where can I learn more?

Marla and friend

<#54          #52>

Saturday, October 3, 2015

#54 Jocelyn Lane

This half-Russian, half-English beauty was born in Vienna, but grew up in New York and London. She parlayed her “resemblance to Brigitte Bardot” (IMDb) into a modeling career, a stint as an Elvis girl (in Tickle Me), 39 screen and TV credits, and a marriage to Prince Alfonso of Hohenlohe-Langenberg.  When she later divorced the Prince and was offered a million-dollar settlement, she made the classic remark that the amount was “not really fitting for a princess.”

Real Name:  Jocelyn Olga Bolton

Embarrassing Movies

  • Dangerous Youth
  • Howlers of the Dock
  • War Gods of Babylon
  • The Gamma People
  • Hell’s Belles *
  • The Son of Hercules Vs. Venus
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

  • A mean set of wheels and a chick to match ... the d├ębutante in a leather skirt!
  • The bikes were fast! SHE was faster!
  • Too Young...Too Tough...Too Itching for Action to look for it. She'll make it where she is!
All from Hell’s Belles.

  • It's Fun! It's Girls! It's Songs! It's Color! It's ELVIS!
  • Elvis as singing, swinging wrangler on a Dude Ranch... for Girls!
  • It's Elvis! And it's Fun! Way Out Wild and Wooly! It's s-p-o-o-k-y! Full of Joy and Jive!
All from Tickle Me.

Embarrassing Characters
  • Pepita
  • First Maisie
  • Chou-Chou
  • Sylvia Sylvester

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends

  • Elvis
  • Prince Alfonso of Hohenlohe-Langenburg

Whiffs of Scandal:  Playboy appearances

Interesting Tidbits

  • Studied ballet
  • Speaks French, German, and Italian
  • Elder sister is actress Mara Lane
  • Also used the stage name Jackie Lane
  • Designs feather necklaces under the Prince J Feather Collection brand
  • There is a Jocelyn Lane (i.e., a public throughway) in Stillwater, MN; Maricopa, AZ; Waynesboro, VA; Charlotte, NC; and who knows where else

Where can I learn more?

 Happy Easter!

<#55          #53>

Friday, September 25, 2015

#55 Yvonne Craig

Green-eyed, petite brunette Yvonne Craig possessed a unique combination of sexiness and wholesomeness. She’s probably best known for playing the motorcycle-riding, high-kicking Batgirl on the Batman TV series. She also, however, was a two-time Elvis girl (and girlfriend) and a Star Trek babe as well (and a green-skinned one at that). Sadly, she passed away just less than a month ago.

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Taylorvile, IL

Embarrassing Movies

  • Ski Party
  • Eighteen and Anxious
  • Mars Needs Women *
  • Seven Women from Hell
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

  • Parents may be shocked, but youth will understand!
  • Women... captured and enslaved – forced to the inhuman demands of barbarian conquerors!
  • When the SKI NICKS meet the SKI CHICKS it's called SNOW-A-GO-GO

Embarrassing Characters

  • Luluwa
  • Elena de la Madrid
  • Azalea Tatum
  • Ecstasy La Joie
  • Vickie Malone, Meter Maid

Shortest  Marriage:  Less than 2 years

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends
  • Jimmy Boyd (sang "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus" as an 11-year-old)
  • Mort Sahl (the comedian)
  • Bill Bixby
  • Elvis

Interesting Tidbits

  • A classically trained ballet dancer, was a member of the  Ballet Russe de Monte Carlo at age 16
  • Attended UCLA, where she majored in Russian
  • Discovered at a Hollywood restaurant
  • Did her own stunts
  • Upon retirement, sold real estate, was an acting coach, produced industrial shows, and started a company doing prepaid phone cards

Where can I learn more?

Nice cone

<#56          #54> 

Friday, September 18, 2015

#56 Christa Linder

Christa Linder was your typical ‘60s/’70s Eurobabe. You know, the ones who did really cheesy B’s and soft-core porn in half a dozen different language and locations. In the midst of all her rather exotic credits, the one normal one – on Trapper John, M.D. – stands out like a sore thumb. Christa actually got her start as a Miss Austria.

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Berchtesgaden (yup, Der Fuhrer’s old hangout)

Pageant Titles:  Miss Austria

Embarrassing Movies

  • Condemned to Sin
  • Countdown to Doomsday
  • Hot Snake
  • Kiss Kiss, Kill Kill
  • Alien Terror
  • Sinister Invasion
  • Dracula in the Provinces
  • Blue Demon and Zovek in the Invasion of the Zombies
  • Trinity Plus the Clown and a Guitar

Embarrassing Taglines

  • Harry Rheem’s Last Adult Film
  • The biggest, barest, bawdiest, romp... since Eve started wearing pants!
  • Alone, only a harmless pet... One thousand strong, they become a man-eating machine! (from Night of a Thousand Cats)

Embarrassing Characters

  • Gold Sister
  • Mi Mo
  • Monna Lisa [sic]
  • Helen of Troy

Whiffs of Scandal:  All that soft-core porn

Interesting Tidbits

  • Was discovered lounging at a pool
  • Has made movies in Germany, Austria, Italy, France, Spain, Hungary, Lebanon, Mexico, and the good ol’ USA
  • Her sister Hansi (yup, Hansi) is also an actress

Where can I learn more?   

 C'mon, Christa, give us a smile!

<#57          #55>

Friday, September 11, 2015

#57 Claudia Jennings

Claudia Jennings was one of the few Playboy playmates to make a successful transition to the silver screen, where she was known as “Queen of the B’s.” The stunning redhead specialized in what’s been termed “hicksploitation” movies, a popular ‘70s genre that featured swamps, moonshine, bad Southern accents, a prominent lack of dentition, and jailbait in cutoff jean shorts. Cludia often played a feisty, lusty proto-feminist character who could stand up for herself. Tragically, Jennings died in a car accident before turning 30.

Embarrassing Real Name:  Mary Ellen (“Mimi”) Chesterton

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  St. Paul, MN

Embarrassing Movies

  • The Love Machine
  • Deathsport 
  • Group Marriage
  • Moonshine County Express
  • ‘Gator Bait *
  • Truck Stop Women *
  • Sisters of Death *
* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

  • A locker room look at the toughest broads in the world!
  • Half Clad – All Bad!
  • 100 Proof Women Running Shine 'Cross The County Line!
  • Double-clutchin'... gear-jammin' mamas who like a lot of hi-jackin' by day... a lot of heavy truckin' by night!

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends

  • Hugh Hefner
  • Warren Beatty
  • Ron Wood
  • Keith Richards
  • David Bowie

Whiffs of Scandal

  • Lots of appearances in Playboy
  • Drug abuse

Untimely Demise:  Car accident (fell asleep at the wheel), age 29

Interesting Tidbits

  • Her mom was a college professor
  • National Merit Scholar, class officer in high school 
  • Was actually a receptionist at Playboy before appearing as a playmate
  • Was going to replace Kate Jackson  on Charlie’s Angels, but the network got cold feet
  • Was once on The Brady Bunch

Where can I learn more?

It was a popular pose

<#58          #56>