#56 Christa Linder

Christa Linder was your typical ‘60s/’70s Eurobabe. You know, the ones who did really cheesy B’s and soft-core porn in half a dozen different language and locations. In the midst of all her rather exotic credits, the one normal one – on Trapper John, M.D. – stands out like a sore thumb. Christa actually got her start as a Miss Austria.

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Berchtesgaden (yup, Der Fuhrer’s old hangout)

Pageant Titles:  Miss Austria

Embarrassing Movies

• Condemned to Sin
• Countdown to Doomsday
• Hot Snake
• Kiss Kiss, Kill Kill
• Alien Terror
• Sinister Invasion
• Dracula in the Provinces
• Blue Demon and Zovek in the Invasion of the Zombies
• Trinity Plus the Clown and a Guitar

Embarrassing Taglines

• Harry Rheem’s Last Adult Film
• The biggest, barest, bawdiest, romp... since Eve started wearing pants!
• Alone, only a harmless pet... One thousand strong, they become a man-eating machine! (from Night of a Thousand Cats)

Embarrassing Characters

• Gold Sister
• Mi Mo
• Monna Lisa [sic]
• Helen of Troy

Whiffs of Scandal:  All that soft-core porn

Interesting Tidbits

• Was discovered lounging at a pool
• Has made movies in Germany, Austria, Italy, France, Spain, Hungary, Lebanon, Mexico, and the good ol’ USA
• Her sister Hansi (yup, Hansi) is also an actress

Where can I learn more?   

• IMDb
• Mexican film fan post 

 C'mon, Christa, give us a smile!

<#57          #55>

#57 Claudia Jennings

Claudia Jennings was one of the few Playboy playmates to make a successful transition to the silver screen, where she was known as “Queen of the B’s.” The stunning redhead specialized in what’s been termed “hicksploitation” movies, a popular ‘70s genre that featured swamps, moonshine, bad Southern accents, a prominent lack of dentition, and jailbait in cutoff jean shorts. Cludia often played a feisty, lusty proto-feminist character who could stand up for herself. Tragically, Jennings died in a car accident before turning 30.

Embarrassing Real Name:  Mary Ellen (“Mimi”) Chesterton

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  St. Paul, MN

Embarrassing Movies

• The Love Machine
• Deathsport 
• Group Marriage
• Moonshine County Express
• ‘Gator Bait *
• Truck Stop Women *
• Sisters of Death *

* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

• A locker room look at the toughest broads in the world!
• Half Clad – All Bad!
• 100 Proof Women Running Shine 'Cross The County Line!
• Double-clutchin'... gear-jammin' mamas who like a lot of hi-jackin' by day... a lot of heavy truckin' by night!

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends

• Hugh Hefner
• Warren Beatty
• Ron Wood
• Keith Richards
• David Bowie

Whiffs of Scandal

• Lots of appearances in Playboy
• Drug abuse

Untimely Demise:  Car accident (fell asleep at the wheel), age 29

Interesting Tidbits

• Her mom was a college professor
• National Merit Scholar, class officer in high school 
• Was actually a receptionist at Playboy before appearing as a playmate
• Was going to replace Kate Jackson  on Charlie’s Angels, but the network got cold feet
• Was once on The Brady Bunch

Where can I learn more?

• Hick Flicks: The Rise and Fall of Redneck Cinema, By Scott Von Doviak
• Chicago Reader
• Cult Sirens 
• Racks and Razors
• IMDb
• Wikipedia

It was a popular pose

 

<#58          #56>

#58 Adrienne Barbeau *

* - author has her autograph

Most B-movie actresses typically don’t start out on Broadway. Adrienne Barbeau did though. In fact, she won a Theatre Guild Award and a Tony nomination for her role as Rizzo in Grease. So, it’s not exactly Lady MacBeth, but it is a notch up from the romantic interest in Swamp Thing.

Adrienne had no illusions about her appeal.  Of Cannonball Run, she once said, “All the talent I needed was in my breastbone.” And of her turn as Maude's daughter in the TV show, she remarked:

What I didn't know is that when I said [my lines] I was usually walking down a flight of stairs and no one was even listening to me. They were just watching my breasts precede me.

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Sacramento

Embarrassing Movies

• Valentine Magic on Love Island
• Scooby Doo on Zombie Island
• The Darker Side of Terror
• Swamp Thing *
• Burial of the Rats *
• Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

• Science transformed him into a monster. Love changed him even more!
• Lock your doors. Bolt your windows. There's something in THE FOG!
• Look closely at your neighbor ... Trust no-one ... They might be THE THING

Embarrassing Characters

• Marquetta Dinovi
• Helga Von Guggen
• Dr. Letitia Peplau
• Cretak
• Toluca Lake
• Serksi the Gallactic Witch

Whiffs of Scandal:   

• Worked as a go-go dancer in a Mafia-run New York City nightclub (check out this great – and very weird – sample of her moves)
• Was in an off-Broadway nudie musical called Stag Movie
• A fair amount of nude photos out there

Interesting Tidbits

• Is half Armenian
• Won the Cannonball Run
• Was a Star Trek babe
• Was married to horror director John Carpenter
• Gave birth to twins at age 51
• Has authored three books (a bio & 2 vampire novels)
• Has released an album of folk songs

Where can I learn more?   

• Official site
• Facebook
• Twitter 
• Interview
• Interview 2 
• IMDb
• Wikipedia
• Fan tribute

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

<#59         #57> 

#59 Stephanie Beacham

Stephanie Beacham is mostly remembered today for bitching it out with Joan Collins on Dynasty. Taking her entire career into mind, though, she was actually quite versatile. I’m talking Ibsen and the Royal Shakespeare Company as well as Hammer films and soap operas. I particularly like her early work, where she seems almost a totally different person than her later incarnation as bitch queen. (Oh, and by the way, I much prefer Stephanie to Joan.)

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Barnet, Hertfordshire (she told people she was born in Casablanca)

Embarrassing Movies

• Bad Girls
• The Witches Hammer
• Schizo
• And Now the Screaming Starts! *
• Inseminoid (AKA Horror Planet)

* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

• Tortured by desires his vows forbid...master of a house of mortal sin!
• Schizophrenia... When the left hand doesn't know who the right hand is killing!!
• A violent alien nightmare in blood!
• A Crawling Terror from the Depths of Doom

Embarrassing Characters

• Jessica van Helsing
• Vera Slaughter
• Felicity Riggs-Wentworth
• Letitia Slighcarp
• Dorena Petherbridge

Whiffs of Scandal

• Playboy appearances
• Suicide gesture
• Close to bankruptcy

Interesting Tidbits

• Partially deaf
• Studied ballet
• Studied mime in Paris
• Nominated two times as Outstanding Villainess: Prime Time for the Soap Opera Digest Awards
• Was in Star Trek
• Was on a celeb reality show, Celebrity Big Brother
• Starred as a nun in the sitcom Sister Kate
• Had a near-death experience
• Was the victim of an Internet death hoax

Where can I learn more?

• Many Lives (her autobiography)
• Facebook page
• Official site  
• Neptune's Depths
• IMDb
• Cult Sirens
• Interview
• Letter to My Younger Self 
• Wikipedia

The Queen and her minions

<#60          #58>

#60 Yutte Stensgaard

Everyone’s favorite Nordic vampire, Yutte Stensgaard was a bit of a one-hit wonder.  She will probably always be known for her role in Hammer’s Lust for a Vampire (especially, for that shot of her topless and drenched in blood). That said, she actually was in some other movies (including the wonderfully atrocious Zeta One), as well as some British TV (including a stint as a game show hostess).  I’m afraid I couldn’t find that much out there on her, unfortunately.

Unpronounceable Real Name:  Jytte Stensgaard

Obscure Real Birthplace:  Thirsted, Denmark

Embarrassing Movies

• The Love Factor (AKA Zeta One) *
• Scream and Scream Again
• Lust for a Vampire *

* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

• A bedroom romp through the fifth dimension!
• Stripped For Laughter!
• TRIPLE DISTILLED HORROR... as powerful as a vat of boiling ACID!

Embarrassing Characters

• Gertrud Wickett
• Carmilla Karnstein
• Flosshilda
• Robot No. 1

Number of Marriages:  3

Interesting Tidbits

• Came to the UK as an au pair
• Became a born-again Christian and refused to talk about her movies (she has since relented)

Where can I learn more?

• IMDb
• Wikipedia
• Hammer blog

<#61          #59>

#61 Victoria Carroll

Victoria Carroll actually had some real talent as a comedienne. In fact, she would eventually become a founding member of the Groundlings, the improv troupe where Laraine Newman, Will Ferrell, and Lisa Kudrow got their start. Unfortunately, her talents weren’t recognized until she was well into her career. As a result, her film credits are mostly pure eye candy. Very nice eye candy, mind you … Later, she did a ton of voice-over and TV work. BTW, she still looks incredible today, at age 74.

Embarrassing Real Name:  Mary Ford

Embarrassing Movies

• How to Stuff a Wild Bikini
• The Lucifer Complex *
• Nightmare in Wax *
• Yogi and the Invasion of the Space Bears

* - author has seen

Embarrassing Taglines

• The most terrifying plot ever imagined...takeover by clones!
• FIGHTIN' the feds... MAULIN' the mob... LOVIN' the sweet things...
• Frozen into zombies... doomed to unbearable horrors! People puppets... at the mercy of a fiendish madman in a chamber of torture!

Embarrassing Characters

• Dr. Beatrice Bruté
• Natasha Godunov
• Ginger LeDoux
• Bubbles Sincere
• Umeela
• She-Hulk

Interesting Tidbits

• Parents were in vaudeville, with Victoria appearing in their act as the “world’s youngest mind reader”
• Got her start as a dancer in Broadway shows
• Was an Elvis girl, having appeared in Spinout
• Is quite an accomplished painter
• Is a big animal rights activist
• Has a daughter, Ashley, who is an actress as well

Where can I learn more?

• Interview (Kougar magazine)
• Hogans Heroes newsletter
• Wikipedia
• IMDb

<62#          #60>

#62 Stella Stevens

Stella Stevens is probably pretty familiar to you already – if you ever turned on a TV during the ‘70s and ‘80s, that is. You may not, however, realize that she has more than 50 credits on the silver screen, including a stint as an Elvis girl and in such gems as The Nutty Professor and The Poseidon Adventure. Her perfect 36C-24-36 measurements probably did more for her career than her acting skills though. That said, she sure did pile up the credits – 140, to be exact. She must have been doing something right.

Embarrassing Real Name:  Estelle Eggleston

Embarrassing Real Birthplace:  Yazoo City, MS (some sources say Hot Coffee, MS instead)

Embarrassing Movies

• Subliminal Seduction
• Murder in Peyton Place
• Chained Heat
• Bikini Hotel
• Women of San Quentin
• Monster in the Closet
• Mister Deathman

Embarrassing Taglines

• She lived on the edge of violence!
• A Wildfire of Explosive Rage!
• They called it HELL ... They called it VIOLENT and EVIL!

Embarrassing Characters

• Dollye Daly
• Stella Purdy
• Gold Dust
• Loretta “Lolly” Zachary van der Post
• Appasionatta Von Climax

Whiffs of Scandal

• Married at age 16
• Custody battles
• Three appearances in Playboy
• Lawsuits with Playboy
• Current paramour is 45 years her junior

Unlikely Spouses & Boyfriends

• Warren Beatty
• Mel Torme
• Tony Roma (the rib guy)

Interesting Tidbits

• Studied at Memphis State
• Has produced and directed two films
• Co-wrote a novel, Razzle Dazzle
• Owns a home and some businesses in the wonderfully named Twisp, WA
• Once announced she was going to run for president
• Directed her son in one movie, and had him direct her in another

Where can I learn more?

• Official site 
• IMDb
• Glamour Girls of the Silver Screen
• Interview
• And another 
• People magazine
• Wikipedia
• Brian's Drive-In Theater
• Elvis's Women

Another one of Jerry's girls

<#63          #61>